Good evening to you all. I pray that you are enjoying sweet time with family and friends or a beautiful evening of rest.

The past couple of days have been somewhat rough with great moments sprinkled in along the way. Beginning on Saturday, I was struck by the warmth of my operated leg versus the rest of my body. Even when icing, the small hole on top of my knee, not receiving ice, would be overwhelmingly hot while the areas with ice would be cool to the touch. That evening I found myself submerged in a pain and discomfort that seemed inescapable. It didn’t matter what I did, comfort was not achievable and thus no rest either. Odd as it is, for a guy who tends to sleep through anything, my leg found a way to keep me awake. Soon I began to itch in a manner that made me want to crawl out of my skin….but to where can I go?? As morning broke, I found relief…in some grand cosmic manner to which I have little logical explanation, the reading if scripture and the rising of the sun culminated in a moment of rest and peace.

Throughout the day on Sunday, I served as best I could at church and concluded my day in a meeting for our upcoming church campus that we are planting around my job and apartment. It was a magnificent day of service to my Lord! With spirits high, I ventured back home….physically exhausted and mentally prepared for a nap. With a few short hours napping I was met, yet again, by the heat, aching, and itching experienced the night before. As I watched the hours tick by in anguish, I was met with text messages from a wonderful young woman who reminded me of the sufficiency of Christ. She poured out for me, in short text message sentences, scripture (2 Corinthians 12: 7 – 10) that gave an account of the Apostle Paul and some of his interactions with pain and suffering. God’s response is directed at the heart of any complaint or cry for help – “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..”

So often we get lost in the mix of life and our heart and eyes become focused on the things of here and now. In a type of spiritual myopia, we find ourselves locked into a sort of comfort bubble. We convince ourselves that we are ok…perhaps good enough….and that God’s purpose in our life is to continue to bless us with comfort and stability. The questions start running rampant in our heads and hearts: why? Why me? Why this? Why now? What does all if this mean?? What does God intend for this situation and circumstances??

Of course, for those of us familiar with scripture, it is ever evident throughout the Bible that we are to expect suffering. That as we follow Christ, we will be persecuted and we will suffer. He doesn’t imply that it’s a roll of the dice to see who does and who doesn’t, He says that we WILL….all of us who follow Him. Furthermore, He will be ever present in that suffering and through it, He will purify us, as gold and silver pass through fire to be purified….and He will be glorified as we depend on Him to suffer well. This helps answer so many of the questions that leap out of us at the first sense of discomfort and pain….the other revelation is a statement I posted on twitter and facebook which really boils down to a reflection on how quickly we seek the easy button to alleviate the physical suffering at its earliest stages yet we tend to be so passive when it comes to the suffering caused by our sin. We fail to recognize the pain it causes and the anguish we experience as a result of rebelling against God.

From that Sunday evening, I recall lying awake at night waiting and praying that my best friends’ baby would wake so that I could seek some benedryl to relieve the itch…minutes seemed like hours. Beautifully, Christ rescued me again as I lay here contemplating these many subjects….He granted me rest without the need for anything of this world to assist me.

Monday was a new day and it began with some relief as I engaged in conversation with my friends here. A new week had begun…back to physical therapy and resting my leg. As I began to prepare for a bath I noticed some alarming signs. There was a green coloring on my gauze in a few small areas and my leg was covered in little red dots. The green appeared to be coming from the holes in my leg and the red dots conspicuously covered my leg from hip to ankle. My medical sensors started to twitch as the pieces vegan falling into place. I needed to talk to a doctor and figured I’d ask the physical therapist to take a close look. With some sense of haste I was granted an appointment with my surgeon and was ushered into an evaluation room. After a quick look, the doc prescribed a new antibiotic and issued me an order to remove the brace on my leg and leave it unwrapped. I was off to reunite with my bed for some rest as my body seems to become increasingly tired and exhausted. I have departed for momentary bathroom breaks and food but believe this to be a good time to remain horizontal with eyes shut as much as possible. I did, however, sneak out for a meeting with ny small group….a group that I love dearly and that I am extremely grateful for!!

This concludes my recap…bringing you to this moment as I toss back and forth in bed. The itching sensation and the heat have not departed me….yet the questions and uncertainty have. I lay here, ever confident in the plan that God has for my time in this suffering…unwavering in the great love that He pours out on me….and ready for where ever He takes me. Here am I Lord, send me.

Please continue to pray for me…as I continue to pray for you. You are dear to me and precious are you to our God in heaven. Grace and peace to you…and Glory to the Lord!!